For Diwali weekend, my mother and I spent the morning dropping off dinner for two close friends of my late father. On our way, my mother wanted to stop at Michael’s because the store had artificial Christmas trees on sale. She was tired of buying a fresh, new tree every year.
I dropped her off at the store entrance and went to find a parking spot that was visible from the doors because I didn’t want her to wander around or get lost looking for me.
But as you can imagine at this time of year, the empty spots were far from the store entrance. So I drove around searching, when I saw a prime space closest to the store. Empty. Someone must have just left. I quickly drove over and as I was just about to pull in, I pressed the brakes. A shopping cart was in the way and a woman was transferring her items from the cart to the trunk of her car which was parked beside the spot.
I considered going back down to one of the far spaces. But my only thoughts were about my mother – confused as she exited the store and wondering where I was. So I drove into the space, slowly, making eye contact with the woman with a voiceless request. She pulled her cart a bit to the side and I drove in, but not all the way so as to give her some room.
Turning off the engine, I proceeded to wait for my mother. Then I heard a voice.
“Excuse me,” I looked up to see the young woman with the cart standing beside the passenger window, which was down to let the dog get some air.
“You blocked me in with your car and I had to move my cart over those rocks,” she said. “You inconvenienced me. So maybe think about it next time.”
I was taken aback. Inconvenienced her?
“Well,” I responded. “Your cart was in the way. What did you want me to do?”
Her eyes were defiant by this time and she said, “Park somewhere else!”
I’m working on my reactions. I tend to allow others to spark my anger – and while it’s a work in progress, the viper is always there beneath the surface under the smile. Especially in such cases.
“Well,” I said looking her in the eye. “Not that I have to explain myself to you. But, my mother is in that store. I needed to find a parking spot where she could find me easily and this was the only one.”
I didn’t point out to this young woman that she was not my first concern when I parked. I didn’t ask why her convenience was priority over an elderly lady. Nor did I ask why she felt entitled enough to take up two parking spots during the holiday season.
But maybe I didn’t have to. She must have seen the viper because she backed away, eyes wide and said, “Ok.” And then I said, “Maybe you should think next time.”
When I got home, I thought about it. How often do we get annoyed with others, even though we don’t know the entire story? Perhaps someone is driving slow on a one-lane street, or takes too long in the lineup at the grocery store?
On the other side – do we think about the reaction we may cause others when we are in a rush on the highway? Or when we honk and get annoyed when someone stops on the side of the road to let a passenger out, close to an entrance?
I am guilty of impatience, but lately I’ve been trying to put myself in the other person’s position. In this case however, I wouldn’t have taken up an empty parking spot just for my own convenience. Nor do I leave my shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot – so at the least, this young woman was behaving responsibly.
But this little encounter made me pause. It was a good reminder that there is no need to rush, to assume the worst, to expect that something belongs to us when it really doesn’t. Sharing takes nothing from us – it only gives.
And as we near the holiday season, remember, don’t lose your head over a parking spot.